Tuesday, June 21, 2011

getting by

Sometimes, you just need to go for walk - no matter the mess at home and the unanswered phonecalls, emails, and paperwork. Yesterday was that time. I had a short window of time, so I took Rachel and Janneke to Port Dalhousie for a jaunt. We walked among the beach people, young and old, and the highlight for both girls was watching the seagulls.

Yes, those annoying birds are great for Rachel and Janneke. They have no fear, so they stand in front of the stroller and then at the last second, fly away slowly. A great scenario for children with delayed cognition! Two seagulls were therefore redeemed in my mind yesterday.

We are recovering from the pink eye and strep throat business, and yesterday, we all felt well enough to go to school, keep appointments, and carry on with daily stuff.

Yet, when you've been sick for a number of days, the piles of things to complete have multiplied, and, instead of feeling sick in the throat, you feel sick in the head. I know I have to take things one day at a time, but lately, those brave emotions have lost their stamina. My mind goes all over - how will we take care of these girls at home for the rest of their lives? How will we balance our time with the two youngest and the two older? What should we have for dinner tonight? (My menu planning ability has been zapped lately.)

I watch Janneke and Rachel as they finish their last feed now, and I pray that they will sleep through the night. They've been up so much, for different reasons - pain, needing more chest physio, or general upset-edness. Lack of sleep in the mom equals lack of healthy perspective. I am thankful I can call upon a few dear friends to pray for me when I don't feel strong.

I realize that in all of this, I must persevere... we must persevere. Ralph works hard to balance his work at school and his role at home, so we save his night shifts for the weekend. : ) Though I purposely avoid writing about his work because that is not why we started the blog, his job is a part of our juggling act as a family -keeping everything and everyone moving without losing our sanity.

Going back to God and asking Him to carry us through the daily stuff is key. I was reminded of God's sovereignty the other night listening to a great John Piper sermon while ironing. (Yes, I realize that sounds very quirky - it's either sermons or NPR podcasts. Gotta feed the mind and soul.)

Anyways, Piper reminded me that when Christ walked this earth, he didn't spend his time explaining all the "whys" or causes for suffering to his people and his disciples. Rather, he indicated God's purpose - that God has a purpose with everything, in all things. We might need a very long time (years) to accept that God's purpose is evident in suffering as well as in the good stuff, but the point remains. God is always present. We just might not have great vision.

Piper referred to the story in John when Christ's disciples ask why a certain man was born blind. I considered his reflections with our family and also with people we know who are dealing with difficult times. It was good food for the mind and soul.

Well, now the rain is falling and the thunder is rumbling. The formula is yet to be made and the girls' feed pumps just went off. Time to go back to work.

I realize some of us have had too much rain this spring for the fields, but I am hoping tonight's rainfall helps our little garden. Both Em and Soph have planted tomatoes and peppers (both of which they despise on the table) and cucumbers (garden cookies!). We picked up the plants from a lovely lady at the local market, so we hope for success - and no twisted carrots (like last year).

Peace for your week. We are always thankful for your prayers.


Karen Groen said...

Thanks for the inspiring words. I read your entry out loud to Steve this morning. Feeling overwhelmed is certainly a daily experience for an administrator. A reminder that God is present and has a purpose for all the trials is a valuable reminder for anyone attempting to make sense of this life. Thanks for your thoughtful and honest reflections. Your family is always in our prayers. Keep on going, Ralph and Sara:)! We are cheering you on!

James said...

Hi guys,
Thanks for sharing Sara. I really appreciate your honesty and openness. Your words are encouraging. Take care.


Jacquie said...

I can only imagine the fatigue - physically, emotionally, spiritually - that sometimes threatens to overwhelm when your load is full. Thanks for being so courageously "real" in sharing...helps us know how to pray for you. Thanks for the perspective on seagulls! :) Love how the yellow brings a sunny pop to your photo, and that you were able to get out with your recovering girlies.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sara (Ralph and family)
It's been awhile since we've seen each other. I came across your blog recently. I was reading through the blog set up for Bryan over a year ago...you had left some wonderful/encouraging comments. (Thank you btw!)
I can only imagine the struggles you go through on a daily basis. Prayers are powerful...as we have experienced. We will pray for you and your beautiful family.
Michelle Zandstra

Heather said...

Lovely pictures.
Your words and thoughts are honest, humble and real. I love what you said about Piper's sermon and how you're taking it to heart when you could be living with a bitter attitude. Instead, you're a beacon to others and I know that your family has a very special purpose.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing your love and insight of the journey that God has put you on. You are a testimony to all and praying that you will have a wonderful refreshed due to wonderful sleeps. -Jessica

Anonymous said...

thank you. you and your family are in our prayers this evening :)