Monday, October 3, 2011

thoughts on faith


 

Here is our little garden gnome out for some weight-bearing therapy 
on the sidewalk - Janneke meeting her sisters coming home from school.

It's been a decent week.  The excitement with AppealforWheels has morphed into determination to order the van and make our home accessible, make caring for Rachel and Janneke less pain on the back and more joy on the face.  We've been working with a local dealership, and we've been told the van will most likely be ready in January.  Seems like a long time, but we know time passes quickly.  

The van has to be custom-ordered from Mercedes, then sent to Northend Mobility for the wheelchair lift and floor parts, and then we will have it sent to one more place for the finishing touches -electrical outlets, overhead storage, and possibly a fold down table.   

Whew.

You know, at some point, you wonder if there is another way to say thanks because saying thanks over and over seems to fall short of adequately describing the feelings of thankfulness.  Yet, in some way, this reminds us of the abundance of God's grace.  Though we fall short of perfection in our brokenness, His grace overwhelms us.  So, we give glory to Him for your gifts.  And we live thankfully.



This past week was more ordinary for our family.  The anticipation and celebration of all the fundraising events is now behind us, and we are dealing with the day-to-day stuff.  

Lately, I've experienced a longing to chat with my mom again.  Our family buried her much too early (according to earthly standards) in early July 1997.  She was a nurse at Mac and with VON.  Now Rachel and Janneke receive much of their medical attention at Mac, and we have VON in the home at least 5 days a week.  Oh, the irony...


My experience with grief created a sense of longing.  This longing comes and goes.  It's a longing for a visit with my Mom - she wasn't perfect, but she was familiar to me.  

In the same way, I have, at times, had a longing to return to the days before Rachel and Janneke were born.  I remember in the first years after both girls were born, I longed to return to 2005 - those days weren't perfect, but they were familiar to me. 

I am not a risk-taker.  But... we have to make that conscious decision to step forward and move into what is not familiar. 

Sometimes, the future seems way too uncertain or unfamiliar, and I want to retreat.  

But, there are times like this morning at NPCC with Janneke in her physio session when I am reminded that the unfamiliar and uncertain days can also be quite rewarding.

Janneke is exploring more independent weight-bearing with her feet.  This is great news!  She is strengthening her bones, and she is starting to support her weight when we transfer her from her bed to her chair.



She still tires quickly of this fun, but we are thrilled with her progress.  This may mean her wheelchair will be different from Rachel's - to allow for some sit-to-stand therapy.  We will see what Janneke wants to do!


So, onward we go, into what seems uncertain.  I appreciate Ian Brown's words about the absence of normal freeing us to see what our girls will do... become... be.

Living on faith, we step forward into tomorrow.

Peace.
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5 comments:

Marya said...

Thanks again for sharing! I wish I could have met your mother - she sounds like an amazing person!

Kimberlie Schenk said...

Thanks for sharing your heart...LOVE the pictures of her standing! Stuff to make a mom proud! ♥kim

Sara Weber said...

Beautiful picture of you and your mom. And heart breaking as well. Thanks for this post.

Bev Roozeboom said...

thanks for sharing from your heart. You are amazing :)

Jacquie said...

Sara...a beautiful post yet again. It makes ME miss your mom too - she was a beautiful encouragement to me in my years of dating and preparing to enter ministry as a pastor's spouse. Love the pictures. May the details for the van and other accommodations fall into place smoothly over these next months. Thanks for letting us share our resources and support when we can't be there to share the everyday. Glad you enjoyed a gentler pace of late...